No matter how those around us try to help us through our grief, we ultimately are responsible for our own healing. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her work with dying patients, identified five stages of grief that define the path to acceptance: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages do not necessarily occur in the same order for the bereaved as they do for the terminally ill, and the bargaining stage may be passed over entirely, but the steps to healing and acceptance are much the same.

Open communication and personal expression often are cited as necessary steps to overcome depression and learn to accept loss. Memorialization as a form of meaningful and personal communication helps those who experience the death of a loved one fight through the final stages of the grieving process by providing a means to express deeply felt emotion and honor the deceased.

Memorials are for the living. They provide a permanent place for those left behind to connect emotionally and spiritually with their loss. They provide an opportunity to honor and pay tribute to a person and make a statement about the impact the person has had on his or her family, community or even the world.

To obtain the full benefit of memorialization as a healing influence and a personal expression of love and honor, purchasers need to be able to match colors, designs, expressions, lettering styles and other characteristics of memorials to their needs. Consequently, variety and customization in the memorialization industry are increasingly in demand.

Memorial manufacturers have responded to this demand by introducing new products each year and offering better and easier ways of providing highly customized memorials for consumers. Granite proves a popular choice for any stone memorial application that comes into contact with the elements because of its beauty, durability, strength and carving characteristics. It allows memorialists to permanently record some of the most intricate and personal detail imaginable through modern techniques such as diamond etching, technolase and photo-portraiture, which permits actual photographs of loved ones to be reproduced in the granite.

The most commonly seen granite memorial type is the monument. The basic concept of the monument as a tablet mounted on a base dates back to ancient man. Human beings have always had a desire to remember their loved ones, and for centuries men used simple tools to cut and carve stone into records of their time and their people. Today, monuments are highly visible in almost every cemetery in the world. They can be created in classical or contemporary styles with shapes including diamonds, hearts, curves, angles and anything in between.

Slants, bevels and flush markers are usually smaller than monuments and come in either single or companion sizes. Slant markers are taller than bevel markers and can be made with a flat, oval or serp top. Bevels have a much slighter angle than slants. Flush markers have no slant and include the largest of the marker family, the ledger, which covers the entire plot with an inscribed rectangle of solid granite.

Bronze memorials mounted on granite bases also are widely accepted throughout the United States. Like the granite marker family, bronze memorials are flush to the ground and come in a variety of sizes and styles. In recent years, the possibilities for greater options and customization have increased dramatically with the introduction of new designs, colors, finishes and technologies. As with granite, today’s technology allows photographs of the deceased to be cast in the bronze memorial. The availability of emblems and verses that can be added to bronze designs continues to increase as well, allowing for even greater customization.

Many chose to make their final resting place above ground. For these people, mausoleums offer many alternatives for memorialization. Community mausoleums are generally more restrictive than private mausoleums, however, some community mausoleums house family rooms that can be customized accordingly.

Private mausoleum entombment is quite possibly the ultimate in personalization. Once thought only for the rich and famous, personal mausoleums have become increasingly affordable for a wider range of consumers. They generally offer more opportunity for personalization because of the wide range of sizes, designs, symbols and colors available. Often, family history or genealogy is carved in an exterior wall for all who visit the cemetery to see. For these reasons, there has been a resurgence in the number of mausoleums built nationwide.

The trend toward cremation has brought forward many new memorialization products. All the memorials used for traditional burial can also be used to memorialize cremains, and numerous additional options have been adopted in recent years in cemeteries across the country. For example, columbariums have appeared in increasing numbers, as have cremation niche units attached to mausoleum buildings. Some innovative cemeteries offer cremation memorialization in stone walls, features and feature bases, and through burial in special cremation gardens.

Above ground or below, traditional burial or cremation, granite or bronze—a memorial is a personal expression of love and respect for the life of a person. Whether purchased as part of a pre-need plan or selected by family and friends after a death, a memorial provides a source of satisfaction and comfort for those who are left behind to remember and heal.